


Inside Out

by stonecoldsteverogers (youdickbag), youdickbag



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode Related, Episode: s6e20 The Man Who Would Be King, Gen, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-08
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-24 04:04:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/630179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youdickbag/pseuds/stonecoldsteverogers, https://archiveofourown.org/users/youdickbag/pseuds/youdickbag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A coda to The Man Who Would Be King that imagines a slightly different confrontation between Dean and Castiel. </p><p>Spoilers up to and including 6x20.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inside Out

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I took a Britney Spears song and wrote a coda to an episode of Supernatural with it. I like it, even if Castiel's entire storyline post-S5 makes me want to throw myself through a window. 
> 
> There's no romance; if you saw 6x20 then you know why. Warning for CW-level profanity.

Dean sat there with his head in his hands, unable to think about anything but Cas's--Castiel's betrayal. He wanted so much to have been right in defending Castiel from Sam and Bobby, but then they'd been right. And the only reason that Dean had even changed his mind had been when Castiel mentioned Superman going dark. How had he known that unless he'd been spying on them? And it was unlikely that was the only time. How much more often had Castiel spied on them? What else was he doing behind their backs, besides working with Crowley?

Dean wanted to think the best of Castiel, but he didn't think he could handle being disappointed again. He knew he couldn't.

And that was the one thing that bothered Dean the most. Castiel was like family to him, and family always helped each other, no matter what. No problem was too big for them, not even Raphael. They'd put down the two most powerful archangels, what was Raphael compared to them? But Castiel hadn't felt like he could ask Dean for help; why was that? Did that mean that Castiel didn't consider them as close as Dean did?

Dean didn't know what to think. It hurt a lot to think about Castiel going behind their backs like that, and with _Crowley_ , of all people. As if taking souls wasn't bad enough, Castiel was working with the _King of Hell_ to do it. Crowley was bad news; why would Castiel side with him over Dean and Sam?

_I can hear you knocking at the front door  
_ _And I know exactly what you came for_

He heard wings fluttering, and there Castiel was. Dean was understandably shocked, though when Castiel said something about the sigils, it made sense how he'd gotten in.

Dean knew what he wanted to try and do. He wanted to explain himself somehow, but Dean didn't want to hear it. He couldn't bear it, knowing that Castiel had foregone his help and sided with the King of Hell instead. But it couldn't be too late; Sam had gone bad, too, but he'd come around. Castiel could do the same. Dean couldn't give up on him.

So he asked Castiel to stop what he was doing. And Castiel said no.

That was the disappointment Dean hadn't wanted to face again. If Castiel wouldn't stop working with Crowley against them, then he was an enemy like Crowley was. He wasn't completely gone - Dean didn't want that - but from now on, they would fight first, talk later.

_Trying to say goodbye, but it's hot and heavy_  
 _You touch me and it's breaking me down_

"I'm sorry, Dean."

"Yeah, me too," Dean replied, then because he couldn't help it, said, "Please, Cas. Please. You can't want this, to fight against us. You can't win this, I won't let you. Please don't fight us."

"Dean, if you won't understand, then the choice to fight isn't mine," Castiel replied. "I'm doing all of this for you, I've told you that. And I can't stop now; maybe if you'd helped me before I'd gotten to this point, things would be different."

"Cas, you didn't _ask_ me for help," Dean shot back, exasperated. "I would've helped you if you asked; I didn't even know there was a problem until we called you about those damn weapons."

_So come on, won't you give me something to remember?  
_

"Dean, after Sam fell into the Pit, you retired," Castiel replied. "I wouldn't have asked you for help, because you were doing what Sam wanted. I wouldn't go against his wishes, or yours. You finally had the life free of all of this..." he gestured as he trailed off. "And I didn't want to drag you back into it."

"Damn it, Cas, this is a little bit more important," Dean said. "I would never choose to live a life without hunting instead of going back to hunting and keeping it safe. Ever."

"It was what Sam had asked of you, and for all I knew, that was what you had chosen," Castiel responded. "I'm not a mind-reader, Dean. I don't know what your mind is like, or how you make decisions. But I do know that you would do what Sam wanted, and I wasn't going to wreck that. Besides, would you really have been able to hunt without him?"

_It's so amazing_  
 _How you shook my world and flipped it upside down_  
 _You're the only one who ever drove me crazy_  
 _'Cuz you know me inside out_

Dean stopped at that, and bit his lip. He knew what he wanted to say, but would he be telling the truth? After all the lying that had gone on, he didn't want any more of it. Would he have been able to continue to hunt without Sam?

Well, yes, he would; they'd been separated before. But never by death, not permanently. And after Sam had died, Dean hadn't been able to do anything but look for ways to get him back. He'd literally rather have sold his soul than be without Sam.

Sam jumping into the Pit had been different; that was something they'd planned. He'd wanted to stay dead, and Dean had respected that, and gone back to Lisa and Ben. But he'd been miserable without Sam. And had Cas asked him to get involved with the angels again, after all they'd gone through at the hands of those bastards, would Dean have been willing to fight as hard as he had when Sam was there?

He knew the answer to that, and apparently, so did Cas. "I thought you said you weren't a mind-reader."

"I'm not, but I know a little about how you operate, Dean," Cas replied. "I know that, to you, nothing is more important than Sam. When he died, I could see how badly you were torn; anyone could have. You had acquired some comfort in doing as Sam had asked. I wasn't going to wreck that and bring you into a conflict you didn't have a reason or any motivation to get involved in...again."

"But Cas, had you asked, I would've helped," Dean said, willing the angel to understand. It was like there was a block between them that neither of them knew how to get around; or maybe Cas did and was waiting for Dean, or maybe it was the other way around. Dean didn't know, but he didn't want to fight about this with Cas; he hadn't been lying when he'd told him that next to Sam and Bobby, Castiel was the closest thing he had to family. They had to stick together, no matter what.

But how could they do that, when Castiel refused to compromise?

_So come on, won't you give me something to believe in?_  


_It's so amazing_  
 _How you shook my world and flipped it upside down_  
 _You're the only one who ever drove me crazy_  
 _'Cuz you know me inside out_

"Cas, we can work together and figure out a way to beat Raphael without working with Crowley to try and rip open Purgatory," Dean said desperately. "Please, don't do this anymore. Tell me you'll leave this plan alone and work with us."

Cas looked deeply conflicted, but said, "Dean, I don't want to fight with you, either. But this is the best way I know how to get enough power to defeat Raphael and keep the world you and Sam sacrificed so much for. If you can think of another way, then I will listen. But I've gone too far to abandon this now without having a sure plan."

He turned to leave, and said over his shoulder, "If you want my help, Dean, you have to convince Sam and Bobby more than you have to convince me."

And then he was gone, and Dean sat down again. He had some hope of getting Cas back, but he had to work on Sam and Bobby. They'd have to come around; it was still _Cas_. That he said he would work with them to find another way meant that he hadn't given up on them. They couldn't give up on him, either. Dean wouldn't let them.

Cas knew them, he understood them, he was doing this for them, even though they were condemning him for it. But it wasn't irreversible. They could fix this. They _had_ to fix this. Cas was too important to lose.


End file.
